I have the joy and challenge of teaching some newly-arrived Saudi Arabian students this term. Some nuggets of knowledge from my two most opinionated, outspoken male Saudi students:
Day 1: "Cooking for women only".
"Fashion magazines for women only".
Day 2: "English? Very easy".
"I like read Shakespeare, Dickens". (in Reading for Beginners)
Day 3: "English in America and Australia? Same".
"I read there only 85 words different".
"Linguistics? That mean grammar".
Day 1 through 6: (in response to a "what does the word '____' mean?")
Random exclamations of the same word, words that sound similar, words that come next in the dictionary.
E.g. "What does the word 'comprehend' mean?"
"Comprehend".
"It mean comprehend".
"Compare".
"Conflict".
"Contradict".
"Agree disagree". (not sure where he was going with this - but it's a handy answer, apparently, for most questions)
Day 6: "Teacher, I want know your opinion about book Da Vinci Code"
"Teacher, what mean word 'hijack'?"
Day 7: with a look of utter resignation: "English very difficult. Every day something new".
I'm glad I didn't strangle them on Day 1, or Day 3. It seems they are coming around. And I have great anecdotes to share when I get home.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Thursday, August 10, 2006
How to Lose a Voice in 5 Days
The following must be completed after a lengthy, relaxing vacation during which little time is spent around other people. This ensures little immunity to any germs other than those brought home by immediate family members.
Day 1. Start a new teaching job - preferably one that includes students newly arrived from foreign countries. They bring with them all those nasty airplane germs.
Day 4. Call in sick due to a fever and extremely sore throat. Worry about whether your new job will still be there tomorrow.
Day 5. Still have your job? Great! Today, be sure to overcompensate for your sick day by talking too much. Students don't need to work alone - they need to engage in facilitated discussion. And they really do love your jokes!
After work on your 5th day, pick up some friends for a road trip. Be sure to ask them lots of questions on the drive. With the radio on. That way you can demonstrate how loud you can talk.
Arrive at your destination and meet new people at a BBQ. Tell them all about yourself and be witty and engaging.
Join a band and spend the next 5 hours singing, yelling, and making stupid jokes into a microphone. In a smoke-filled bar. (If there are no smokers, you might want to burn incense. A lot of it). To speed along the process, frequently move between the hot, stuffy, smoky bar and the chilly outdoors.
Attend an after party and verbally spar with your bandmates. Become passionate and argue - this leads to increased volume and therefore increased strain on your voice.
Find a hotel room with a hot-tub. Sleep on the carpeted floor where the mold and dust can most easily gain access to your breathing passages.
Day 6. Wake up sounding like Patty and Selma. Be prepared for new nicknames. And to hone your skill at charades.
Day 1. Start a new teaching job - preferably one that includes students newly arrived from foreign countries. They bring with them all those nasty airplane germs.
Day 4. Call in sick due to a fever and extremely sore throat. Worry about whether your new job will still be there tomorrow.
Day 5. Still have your job? Great! Today, be sure to overcompensate for your sick day by talking too much. Students don't need to work alone - they need to engage in facilitated discussion. And they really do love your jokes!
After work on your 5th day, pick up some friends for a road trip. Be sure to ask them lots of questions on the drive. With the radio on. That way you can demonstrate how loud you can talk.
Arrive at your destination and meet new people at a BBQ. Tell them all about yourself and be witty and engaging.
Join a band and spend the next 5 hours singing, yelling, and making stupid jokes into a microphone. In a smoke-filled bar. (If there are no smokers, you might want to burn incense. A lot of it). To speed along the process, frequently move between the hot, stuffy, smoky bar and the chilly outdoors.
Attend an after party and verbally spar with your bandmates. Become passionate and argue - this leads to increased volume and therefore increased strain on your voice.
Find a hotel room with a hot-tub. Sleep on the carpeted floor where the mold and dust can most easily gain access to your breathing passages.
Day 6. Wake up sounding like Patty and Selma. Be prepared for new nicknames. And to hone your skill at charades.
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