The following must be completed after a lengthy, relaxing vacation during which little time is spent around other people. This ensures little immunity to any germs other than those brought home by immediate family members.
Day 1. Start a new teaching job - preferably one that includes students newly arrived from foreign countries. They bring with them all those nasty airplane germs.
Day 4. Call in sick due to a fever and extremely sore throat. Worry about whether your new job will still be there tomorrow.
Day 5. Still have your job? Great! Today, be sure to overcompensate for your sick day by talking too much. Students don't need to work alone - they need to engage in facilitated discussion. And they really do love your jokes!
After work on your 5th day, pick up some friends for a road trip. Be sure to ask them lots of questions on the drive. With the radio on. That way you can demonstrate how loud you can talk.
Arrive at your destination and meet new people at a BBQ. Tell them all about yourself and be witty and engaging.
Join a band and spend the next 5 hours singing, yelling, and making stupid jokes into a microphone. In a smoke-filled bar. (If there are no smokers, you might want to burn incense. A lot of it). To speed along the process, frequently move between the hot, stuffy, smoky bar and the chilly outdoors.
Attend an after party and verbally spar with your bandmates. Become passionate and argue - this leads to increased volume and therefore increased strain on your voice.
Find a hotel room with a hot-tub. Sleep on the carpeted floor where the mold and dust can most easily gain access to your breathing passages.
Day 6. Wake up sounding like Patty and Selma. Be prepared for new nicknames. And to hone your skill at charades.
2 comments:
Aww, you poor lil' thing. I knew you're weren't feeling good before the start of Jamboree...but didn't realize just how sick you were going to get. I got the crud while there too but I hope you're feeling much better now. *HUGS*
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